So your regular routine has failed you, now what?
Your regular routine has failed and you don’t know what to do? Welcome friend! Here’s your gold star for being brave enough to TRY!
In my regular routine, I am often paralyzed by the thought of failure. What if no one bothers to read what I write? Am I wasting time if my TikTok videos are giant flops? Do real people still use Insta anymore? But if I never try, then I will never learn from the failures in order to find what is a success.
So it’s time to accept the failure(s), and understand that it does not make you or I horrible human beings. What we need to figure out is what we can do better this time around? Find systems that set your regular routine up for success.
Regular Routine Factors
Was the failure of your routine due to internal factors or external factors? In other words, what circumstance, fact, or influence contributed to the regular routine failure? For example, internal factors could be… you didn’t get enough sleep, you forgot to take your meds, or it was a bad mood kind of day. External factors could be… you got stuck in traffic, the internet went out, or someone else made you feel bad. Write it all down.
Regular Routine Control
Next, ask yourself if the factors that prevented you from succeeding are within your control? If the answer is no, that’s okay! That’s life sometimes, and there are things that we can’t control in our lives and it sucks. Now look at the factors that are within your control, and brainstorm ways where your regular routine could have been successful based on your current needs. Write it down.
Neurodivergent Needs
Now, I’m not talking about the usual suggestions like “go to bed early, and you’ll get more sleep.” No, none of that neurotypical bullshit. Write out a list of all your needs that must be met in order for you to do the routine. Then play out creative ideas from those specific needs. Try to recognize any judgement that may exist around your idea(s).
For example, I struggle with giving my kid a bath at bedtime. Like most kids, he wants to stay in the bathtub forever. And as a mom with ADHD, my patience has been depleted. So bath time always ends in chaos.
So what are my internal factors? I have no patience/energy at the end of the day. What are my external factors? A kid who is being a kid and just wants to play. What can I not control? The meltdowns we have from both being tired. What can I control? The time that I give my kid a bath!!
There is no rule, that I have to give my kid a bath right before bedtime. But for some reason, I had that limiting belief and it was doing me more harm than good. So, I tried out different bath times and eventually found one that works for us. Now we do bath time an hour before dinner. At that time, I still have energy to play and patience too. And I can negotiate him out of the tub with the promise of a yummy dinner.
What are your thoughts? Have you uncovered limiting beliefs in your regular routine? What are they, and how did you overcome them?